Thursday, September 10, 2009

Chapter 7 Part 2: Kirra

(Hey, this seems to be a little to much like The O.C. to me for some reason, and I’m unsure about the dialogue ahead. So give your opinion please.)
Matt and Chase arrived at the front of the hospital and stared inside the ER’s front window.
“Is he going to die?”
“I don’t know. You know as much as me.”
“Fuck, it’s my entire fault. I shouldn’t have… You know what no. It isn’t my fault. It’s your fault. You sent me there.”
“Oh shut up Matt. You didn’t have to follow my orders like a little puppy, you could’ve checked your messages, and you could’ve paid him. None of this is my fault.”
“What do we do then?”
“Go inside would be a good idea….” Chase said as he pushed along.

Kirra stared blankly into her home. Thoughts of Matt poured through her mind, and she wasn’t sure what to do. Suicide didn’t work so what would. She had no clue, but a devious grin spread across her face. Maybe she did have a clue…
She opened up her front door and walked inside. She walked straight to the kitchen and saw her mom leaning against the sink. Her dad sat at the table.
“Hello mum. Hi dad.”
“Hi Kirra. Sit down.” Her mom said.
“We’re disowning you.” Her dad said.
“What? What the fuck is that? That’s stuff you see in movies, and in fiction. And of all ways to bring it up, you do it so bluntly?”
“We don’t have a choice dear.”
“And why not?”
“Your dad was fired today, and we can’t support you. It’s disownment or go to a foster home.”
“Wow, couldn’t you have at least brought this up a little less suttle?”
“We have to now, or it won’t happen. Your father has been out of a job for some time and neither of us have been able to find one, they’re coming for you tonight.”
“Thanks mom and dad. Do you have any clue what I’ve been going through?”
“We know you have those original issues.”
“Original? This is exactly what I thought. Mom I have a fucking eating disorder! Something’s wrong with me and I don’t know what.”
“You think this is easy for us? Well it’s not and you have no right to speak to us that way no matter what your problem is. We’re losing our daughter! This is not easy, so stop trying to make this all about you. It’s not.”
“Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.” Kirra sang tunefully. “So may I see the papers or whatever it is?”
“Here.” Her dad said as he pulled out a file from next to him. “You have to sign on every space there is, and we can do the rest.”
“Fine.” Kirra signed all the spaces after a while, and handed the file back. She kicked back her chair and a tear streamed down her face as she walked up the stairs to her room. She slammed the door behind her and locked it so no intruders would enter. She took out anything she could pack stuff within and did so. Bed sheets, computers, clothes, and jewelry. Everything you could think of was packed. She opened up her bedroom window and put the items carefully on the non-accessible balcony.
A knock came at her door as she started to contort her body through the window. She ignored it and proceeded. She took her bags one by one down the escape ladder and placed them on the ground. She heard the door upstairs being forcefully opened as she left the premises of her home. She fled the neighborhood and eventually came to a stop at a bench. She opened up her cell phone and saw the new message alert. She opened it and that same message appeared from Unknown…”Eat.”
She called up Fi, but no answer. She tried Taylor, then Oliver, then Kale, Chase, and even Matt, but no answer from any of them. She knew only one place she could turn to, that was friendly. She went to Taylor’s house, and was welcomed by her mom even though she wasn’t there.
“Is it okay if I set these down here?”
“Uh, sure. May I ask what’s wrong?”
“Oh nothing.” Kirra set her stuff down and started walking out the door.
“That girl is so fucking strange…” Taylor’s mom said as she closed the door.
Kirra took a cab to the hospital where she hoped to find everyone. She paid the driver and walked into the ER to find familiar faces inside. “Hey guys.” Kirra said.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Fi asked.
“Oh I dunno. Getting disowned by my parents, running away, at Taylor’s house, in a cab and here.” She said really quickly.
“I have no clue what you just said, but I’ll take that as an excuse.”
“Yeah, of course you will. So how’s he doing.”
“No one knows. They won’t tell us anything.” Taylor said.
“Yeah, it’s like the fucking television shows where they don’t tell the people anything.” Kale said.
“Thanks for repeating what I just said Kale.” Taylor snapped.
“Hey Kirra.” Matt said.
“Oh, it’s you. Hi Matt. Hi Chase.”
“Is that all you can say? So? Have you ever heard of driving a conversation? How about, Kirra why did you get disowned? Or, sorry about our date.”
“Okay, I’m really really sorry about our date. I know you’ve given me two chances. The first I utterly fucked up, this I still kind of fucked up, but it wasn’t as bad. If you’re willing to give me another chance, I’d take it in a heartbeat.” Chase laughed.
“Kirra, why did you get disowned?” Chase asked.
“My parents are homeless and I don’t want to go to a foster home.”
“I’m sorry about that. Is there anything I can do?” Chase said, surprising everyone.
“Nothing I want. So any ways, where’s Oliver?”
“Didn’t want to come.” Fi answered.
“He didn’t want to come see whether his best friend dies. Wow, great healthy relationship there. Kind of like everyone’s friendship. It’s fun watching everyone’s life spin round and round.”
“Can you just calm down Kirra. Just try to get through the night?” Taylor asked.
“And where is his parents?”
“On their way. They were on vacation.” Fi answered.
“Oh.” Kirra took a seat and the hours wandered away. One by one everyone fell asleep waiting for a doctor, until two stayed awake. Chase and Kirra.
“So what made you decide to come?”
“You tell me.”
“I’d hope the reason is because he’s your friend.”
“Stop it Chase.”
“Stop what?”
“Why don’t you tell me.”
“Stop what Kirra.”
“Stop everything. You don’t know any boundaries.”
“I know Kirra.”
“Wow. You know?” Chase stood up and put his hands against the wall behind her head.
“Yes. I do.” He stared into her eyes deeply and leaned in. She slid underneath his arms and out of the chair. She sat down next to it.
“Wow Chase, what was your plan? Stay up, have a chat, and hope I’d blow you? Well fuck you!” She yelled, waking everyone up.
“What’s wrong Kir?” Everyone asked, slowly coming to.
“Nothing. Just decided to yell. It’s quite fun.”
“Yeah sure Kirra.” Matt said as he once again closed his eyes.
“Any news yet?” Fi asked.
“Nope, none.”
“Well, I’m don’t sitting here. I’m going up there and demanding information.” Kale said as he stood up. He marched down the halls until a few doctors got in his way.
“You cant come back here sir.”
“Then give us some fucking information!”
“About whom?”
“Max. Maxxie Oliver.”
“We can’t release anything yet. Not until his parents arrive.”
“Are you joking? Do you know anything? His parents are at least a two days trip away, so are you telling me you’re going to not release anything to us? That kid. That kid is my best friend. I know I sound lame, but tell me what’s wrong with him. What’s wrong with that kid. Is he going to die?” Kale said as his eyes watered a bit.
“I’m sorry. We can’t. Now if you can get the parents to contact us, we may be able to talk.”
“Tell me something---please.”
“All I can tell you. Well I’m not supposed to. I can tell you that he’s in surgery.” Kale stared at them for few moments and then walked back. He reached the room and told them all.
“Wow, wonderful.” Kirra said. “These truly are the best of days.” She stood up and left. She walked the streets alone, with no followers visible. She reached Taylor’s house to find her mom gone, but she managed to get in. Tears streamed down her face as she stormed through the house. She couldn’t find anything to calm her down. No ‘cigs, no ‘spliffs, no pills, nothing. She couldn’t stop spazzing out as she started destroying everything in the house.
The door bell rang, and that brought her back down to Earth. “Shit!” She said as she tried to straighten everything up, figuring it was Taylor’s mom. She opened the door to see an unexpected face. Not even Matt.
“Hello Kirra.”
“What do you want?” Chase kissed her then, and she didn’t resist. They led each other up the stairs and entered a vacant bedroom. Kirra ripped off his shirt and started to undo his belt. She took it off and Chase took her shirt off. They took turns and kept going towards the bed. Kirra pushed Chase into a dresser on ‘accident’ on the way. “Fuck.” He said.
“God, stop being such a pussy,” They reached the bed and she turned over on him and resisted letting him take control. Kirra had found the one thing to relieve her stress. Unlikely, but it was Chase.

Kirra opened up her phone. Chase was gone, the house was still empty. She found three new messages waiting to be opened. She opened the first one. It was nothing. She opened the second one and the same message for the third time was displayed. "EAT!” Then she opened up the last message and followed its directions.
She opened up the cab door and entered it. She sat on the seats quiet. No noise until she spoke. “Hello Steve.”
“What’s up kiddo.”
“They say I have to come back for a re-evaluation. They think I’ve cheated the system.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not. Why would I do that?”
“I know you better than that.”
“Just go please.” He drove off and reached the destination. Kirra got out and went inside. She went through all the tests and went to the final examiner.
“Kirra. What is this?”
“What is what?”
“Everything marked correct is no longer that way.”
“Why is it my fault? I already passed the first one.”
“But not this one. This one is obviously more accurate.”
“How do you know?”
“Because. So, this is how it’s going to go. You will be readmitted at no charge.”
“No charge?”
“Yes. Your parents?”
“What about them?”
“They scheduled this re-evaluation Kirra. You didn’t know?”
“No. I didn’t know a thing.”
“Yes. They also left a check for you for the next three months.”
“Yes, so your going to be staying here for the time being. So you can go out and get your stuff. We’ll be expecting you.”
“Wow. And do you know where my parents are?”
“No. They said they’d be gone for a while, but hopefully back by the time your school year ends.”
“Oh, wonderful. So is there anything else?”
“Nope, I think that should do it Kirra. Nice to have you back.”
“Nice to…Be back.” Kirra left the institution and didn’t enter her cab. She went to Sparky’s Lounge and entered it. She sat at the bar and ordered food, pancakes to be exact.
“Kid. What’s wrong.” Steve said.
“I’ve been reinstated.”
“I don’t eat.”
“And why not?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been getting messages telling me too. You haven’t been sending them have you?”
“No, I don’t tell you how to live your life. You don’t tell me.”
“Then who sends them?”
“Who wants you to eat? Just eat.”
“Okay…” She cut a bite and stuck it to her mouth, but stopped.
“So, what you been doing lately?”
“Eat.” She put it to her mouth and tasted the first bite.

Maxxie opened his eyes. He was in his bed. What a crazy night he had had. Was it all real or was it a dream?
“What the fuck?” He said.
“You okay Max?” Fi asked.
“Yeah, not bad. What you doing here?”
“Thought we could hang out today. Dunno.”
“How long have you been there?”
“Minutes. Taylor, Kale, and Oliver just left.”
“Yeah, he was here too.”
“Oh, okay. Cool.”
“He misses you, you know.”
“Yeah, and I miss him too.”
“Where’s Kirra and Chase and Matt?”
“They were here last night, but had to go.”
“Oh. You won’t believe the dream I just had.”
“Oh, why not?”
“What was it?”
“I got shot, Chase and Kirra and WHAT THE FUCK!”
“What?!” Fi screamed.
“What the fuck are those!”


Anonymous said...

Okay I don't know if you wanted me to comment Jared but I think it's fine. I love the ending! It made me smile. I don't think it's too much like the O.C. but then again I may not be the right person to tell you since I've seen maybe 8 episodes in my life of it (which in my opinion is too much). Just keep writing!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
e.l. said...

Well..yes, there are some confusing who said what for starters. I'd work on a bit of the movement of the conversation a little. And you can do this very unconvetional. You could leave those parts like parts of a script if you want..just so we'd know perhaps where they are and what they said.

Other part Oliver & know..I was thinking thats one person, two people. I would have brought Oliver a little more in the end there. & I thought we might get more perhaps Taylor & Matt moments.

Sure, I know you want us to use our imaginations with Kirra & Chase and you know, have that sure-real moment feel but maybe a little bit more in that scene.

Dialogue is your favorite part..which is great and I think the more you write you can use that to move your story more. So give yourself a pat on the back & ask this really over. Lets get to why Maxie got here in the first place. I'm not sure I feel that sad for Kirra yet. So keep going.

the oaks said...

There is a dark humor to it. You know, Chase making Matt feel like the dummy for following his orders. Kirra coming how to being disowned. Can they do that? And all the while you wonder if Kirra is just dreaming this stuff up. Not sure I got the whole Maxie thing at the end.

But think more of letting us know a bit more of the exterior and perhaps their emotion. How they talked the way they acted. I mean I get this feeling of Kirra not wanting anyone to know how she really cared.

And maybe a little more of how this whole thing with Maxie came about and the lapse of Oliver. You know, back link us to those post so we can refresh our memory.

I hope you'll keep writing. I sense some angst in you, which is good..hone in on it.

cass and cady said...

Definitely some fun dialogue. My favorite part of the story. Kirra could possibly make Chase a bit more miserable. Seriously, I think she should have shown up on his doorstep and say, I'm here.

Anyway, some interesting developement. But I would have like to see more from Taylor as well as Maxie.

So keep going......